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Constitution of Art. Lebedev Studio

We, the Art. Lebedev Studio team, adopt the Constitution of Art. Lebedev Studio.

  1. Art. Lebedev Studio is the Center of the Universe that has its own flag, anthem and logo, and whose policy is aimed at creating conditions for a worthy life and a free development of its team members.

  2. The sovereignty of Art. Lebedev Studio shall cover the whole of its territory, including the kitchen and the doormat.

  3. Art. Lebedev Studio is a secular enterprise. No religion may be established as official or obligatory one. Making fun of those fasting for religious reasons shall be banned.

  4. The creation and activities of public associations whose actions are aimed at violating the integrity of Art. Lebedev Studio, at undermining its security, at setting up armed units, and at instigating social, racial, national and religious strife shall be prohibited.

  5. Art. Lebedev Studio shall guarantee the equality of rights and freedoms of its team members, regardless of sex, race, nationality, language, origin, property and official status, place of residence, religion, convictions, membership of public associations, and also of other circumstances.

  6. In the Studio man, woman, cat and manager shall enjoy equal rights and freedoms and have equal possibilities to exercise them.

  7. No one shall be subject to torture, violence, defragmentation, compression, hanging by the ribs or other severe or humiliating treatment or punishment. No one may be subject to medical, scientific and other experiments without voluntary consent.

  8. Everyone shall have the right to association, including the right to assemble peacefully, without weapons, throw parties and booze-ups, hold rallies, meetings and demonstrations, marches and pickets.

  9. The collection, keeping, use and dissemination of information about the private life of a team member shall not be allowed without his or her consent. In return, Art. Lebedev Studio expects everyone to refrain from collection, keeping, use and dissemination of the inside information. Should any problems arise, the management’s attention shall be guaranteed.

  10. Everyone shall have the right to personal computer connected to the Internet. Along with it come a chair, a table lamp and a box of paper clips.

  11. Everyone shall have the right to food. Guarantees shall be provided for general access to everyday free lunches and coffee, the Studio’s kettle, fridge and tableware. Everyone shall have the right to receive on a competitive basis second helpings.

  12. Everyone shall have the right to rest. The Studio’s couches shall ensure for everyone the possibility of sleeping. Those taking a nap shall be guaranteed protection against smearing toothpaste on their faces.

  13. Everyone shall have the right to work overtime, twice overtime and thrice overtime.

  14. Everyone shall have the right to work six days a week.

  15. Everyone shall have the right to spend overnight in the Studio working.

  16. Everyone shall be guaranteed high salary paid in full in due time. Team members shall enjoy the right to disclose salary information just once, as in doing so, they cancel their membership to the Art. Lebedev Studio team.

  17. Care for the Studio’s cat and its upbringing shall be the right everyone is allowed to enjoy.

  18. Everyone shall have the right to design his or her workplace based on professional needs and in accordance with personal taste and beliefs. Things like zip drives, green floppies, an ergonomic keyboard, a matrix printer, a Leo DiCaprio poster, or an antirad cactus shall be available upon request and shall be guaranteed at the expense of the Studio.

  19. Recognition shall be given to the Studio’s and individual property rights. No one may be deprived of his or her ash tray, coffee, cigarettes, teaspoon, stud farm, well bred livestock, poultry, etc. Anyone needing to borrow a CD or a toothpick shall appeal orally to the owner and is likely to receive a helpful response.

  20. Art. Lebedev Studio, united by a common abhorrence of asininity, stands for diversity and reason. Therefore, its team members, regardless of age, professional experience and of other circumstances, shall recognize each other as equals and use respectful, yet casual communication, showing esteem for any kind of hairstyle, piercing, make-up, freaky T-shirts, bunny slippers and so on.

  21. Being part of Art. Lebedev Studio is the thing to be mighty proud of. Being part of Art. Lebedev Studio means attaining the top level. Art. Lebedev Studio shall never cease its pursuit of perfection and professionalism.

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